The best interests of our children

I have been following the drama of International Parental Child Abduction since I became familiar with the Sean Goldman case back in the fall of 2008. As I have previously mentioned, I was extremely naive and didn't even know if was such a big issue - likely due to the fact that cases are swept under the rug or treated with "secrecy of justice".

Father's day is tomorrow and it's a date Left-Behind Parents know all too painfully well. Especially due to the fact that 75% of the LBPs are men - and, believe me, from what I've seen, the vast majority of these women do not leave the country due to domestic violence.

What about the children? Yes, the children... these innocent creatures that are carried like a suitcase by one of their parents when they decide to do so. They're just pawns in this sick game. They're lied to, alienated, and abused. We're adults, people! Whatever problem we have with our current/former spouses we have to solve without getting the children involved.

As we all know, the instrument to recover children abducted overseas is the Hague Convention on the International Aspects of International Child Abduction. However, not all countries are signatory of the Hague, and others that have signed it "have trouble" enforcing the returns (for the lack of a better word).

That's why Congressman Chris Smith has introduced a bill, HR 1940, The International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act of 2011, so this country can have legislation with teeth to enforce the returns of children abducted abroad. We have to call our representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the bill, and inquire the reason - if any - why they refuse to do so. Some representatives think the US should not jeopardize international relations with other nations because of "some children". I'm pretty sure if these Congressman had their children abducted, they'd be singing a different tune.

For those who think the problem is not as bad as they think, that parents can take off with children when they please, and feel sorry for the abducting families, please take a look at the following:

- Testimony of a formerly abducted child, posted in the Bring Sean Home Foundation Orkut community on June 16, 2011 (click it to enlarge)

Translation:

When I was 3, my father took me away from my American family when we went to Brazil "on vacation". For 16 years, I did not see my mother, sister, aunts, grandmother and grandfather (he passed away in 2002). My father returned to the US but left me in Brazil with my paternal grandparents (who passed when I was already back on the US).

I'll never forgive my father for doing what he did. I came back to my country (US) nine years ago and I don't want to see him or the rest of his family. I'm very traumatized.

People like Bruna and her family do not understand the severity of what they did. I missed 16 years of my life with my family, and I'll never have those years back. My relationship with my family here is not the greatest since we were deprived of being together for so long.

This Grandmother [Sean Goldman's] doesn't have the right to play victim. She's just paying for what she did.

- Blog of a Left-Behind Aunt. She wants to be a voice out there for her brother Carlos and nephew Sage, who was abducted to Mexico. It also provides a perspective on how child abduction plays a devastating effect in not only the LBP and chid(ren)'s lives, but also on the rest of the family

www.justiceforsagebermudez.blogspot.com



On May 24th, I attended a Congressional Hearing on IPCA. The hearing was over 4 hours long and I couldn't stay for the whole thing. The place was so packed some people got turned away. David Goldman spoke as a former LBP and on behalf of the others with children abroad - 2 panels: Hague Countries and Non-Hague Countries.

After his testimony, David read a letter to SOS Clinton signed by 80+ parents. Before he started reading the letter, he asked that other LBPs in the room to stand up. Half the room was up, men and women holding pictures of their children. I didn't know what to do. I was invaded with shock, sadness, anger, desperation... you name it. How can you look at those faces and not do anything, not feel anything? That image will never leave my head. That's why I'll never stop.

Things put in perspective - the hard way

Six weeks ago a dear friend lost her husband in an unfortunate motorcycle accident. It did put things in perspective for me. A young man, who was gone so soon, and left wife and 2 daughters behind. It's a tough road ahead, but she has the support of her friends and family to go forward.

This past Saturday, 4am, Paris time, another dear friend lost a long, hard-fought battle against cancer. She left her husband, a son and a daughter.

I did not spend a lot of time with her. In fact, I only saw her once. We spent an afternoon together during the last trip I took to Brazil, along with a third friend (my BFF). A lot of chatting, laughter and appetizers to share. She had the most amazing smile. You wouldn't even know she was sick. Her strength and will to fight that horrible disease was huge.

I feel like I owe her so much. She brought a very special group of friends together. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't even know each other. Now there's a hole in my heart. I know she's now pain-free and in a better place. But I feel for her husband and the 2 little ones that will not have their Mom around. It must be so hard, I can't even imagine. I clung to my son and said my prayers. I pray that they find comfort in their memories. I hope the kids can still remember her, and how much they loved them.

This afternoon I made a donation to the American Cancer Society in her memory. It's not much, and it won't help her. But I'm sure it will help someone else.

Rest in peace, Aline. You'll always be missed. <3

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies

Great! My son has learned to lie - really well, may I add. So well, he duped his father into believing it.

He told his father I had allowed him to take my Nintendo DS to before/after care school. I was never asked anything. My husband, knowing the elementary school wouldn't allow video games on the premises, left the device on the daycare cubby. What a genius idea, no?

Little guy is very sneaky. He knows that, at home, he has to ask every time he wants to get his hands on it.

When I arrived to pick him up, I found the DS and was furious. I picked it up and immediately noticed the game cartridge was missing. Of course, he didn't take a regular game cartridge, it had to be the R4 with all my games in it. There were games in there it took me weeks of practice to get where I was and I bet it's all lost now.

When I picked up the console, I noticed the label with my name on had been wiped clean, as if someone had tried to take it off. But I can't bluntly accuse anyone of stealing it, so I have to be polite and just ask if everyone happened to see if it *fell* somewhere (virtually impossible, since you have to push the game inward in order to come out).

Long story short, T has been grounded for 2 months without video games or TV. I just hung up on my mother, who said this is exaggerated, he's only 6, bla bla bla. Riiight....

And the husband was grounded too...

"He has my blood running through his veins"

This past Wednesday I had the privilege to attend a Congressional Hearing on International Child Abduction and it was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever witnessed. Left-Behind Parents pleading Congress to pass a bill in order to impose sanctions on countries that fail to uphold an international treaty they signed, called The Hague Convention on Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. In the case of non-signatory countries, such as Japan, it's a bit more complicated.

There were four LBPs at the hearing: Tom Sylvester, whose daughter Carina was abducted to Austria in 1995 when she was only 13 months old; Navy Commander Paul Toland, whose daughter Erika was abducted to Japan (the only living parent after his ex-wife committed suicide); Patrick Braden, whose daughter Melissa was abducted to Japan; and David Goldman, whose son Sean was abducted to Brazil. I suggest you read all the testimonies. The stories are very hard to read, but those are things that must be told.

After volunteering for many months at the Bring Sean Home Foundation, I had the opportunity to meet the Goldman family. One thing is see them on TV, another is to see their pain up close. I had tears rolling down during David's testimony. Only someone who's a parent can try to understand what those parents go through, but can only have a tiny idea of how much pain they're in.

I'm afraid this case is being pushed to the back burner. Not much has been reported lately. The Brazilian media was at the hearing and recorded interviews, but other than a small note on a couple of newspapers, no other media outlets touched the case.

At this point, we're waiting on the decision of the TRF-2. The iron-clad verdict from June 1st was issued a stay while the courts examine the appeal. The decision could come any day now. Someone said it was to come in September. Well, it has come and gone, as well as October and November. Each day lost is a victory to the abductors, who get to brainwash this child, for it will take much longer to "de-program" Sean once he's back into his father's arms (read the transcript the Wolf Blitzer interview here).

It's interesting the different ways Brazilians react to this case. Some will side with the abducting family, either because they came were abandoned by spouses or father, or because they're unhappy in their marriages and would love to flee with their kids, or because they have a very old-fashioned notion that a man cannot care for a child alone, or because they believe the biased reports that say the child was abandoned. Others will be on the fence, saying the mother is no longer around to give her version of the facts (despite 4 years of court records of her testimony on file that never discredited David for being a loving, dedicated father). And there are the ones that agree that say it was a crime to take the child away but he is now used to the environment and should be left alone, despite the fact that has been proven over and over that the 9-year-old has been brainwashed and the environment where he lives is not healthy. Thankfully the majority of Brazilians I know are outraged by this travesty, the corruption behind-the-scenes, the lies, and the slowness in the judiciary.

The needs of a 9-year-old boy and his natural father are being ignored by a family that is holding him hostage in Brazil.

It's time to make some noise. Write to friends and family about it. Blog about it. Post about it on message boards and forums. If you have a twitter account, please use the tag #bringseanhome when writing about it. Together we can Bring Sean and all the other abducted children Home.

"It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya."

RIP Patrick Swayze 1952-2009. You left too soon, you will be greatly missed.

Deadly Metro Collision in DC

To celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary:

Shortly before 5pm today, there was a major accident on the DC Metro Red Line. Yes, it's the line I use to get to and from work. Fortunately I was not injured in this accident since it was on the opposite side of the line.

Traffic and train circulation is a zoo, though, and the metro trip that usually takes 35 min + delays took over 90!

As of 10pm today, there are 6 dead and over 100 injured.

Sending my thoughts and prayers to the victims and their loved ones.

Images below: CBS News


 

Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say

UPDATE: Grandpa passed on Saturday, Jan 24, 9:25am Brasilia time. Thanks for all the prayers and support. I'm hanging in there.

My Mom called me today to tell me the doctors said there's nothing they can do for my Grandfather. He had been in the hospital since Dec 25th. I think he was misdiagnosed before being admitted, and had infection after infection since then.

The last time I spoke to him was on the 24th, and it felt like he was saying goodbye, you know?

So maybe by the time I type this, or by the time you read this, he'll be gone.

My consolation is that he lived nearly 86 years. He was a hard-working man, raised 3 daughters and a son, loved 4 granddaughters and a great-grandson. He'll be dearly missed. More than my Grandpa, and my Godfather, he was a great friend.




I can't think of nothing else to say, so I'll just leave this really sad song that I love:

One Sweet Day

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be togetherOne sweet day

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

Just chaos!

There was a water main break this morning here in MD. It flooded the streets nearby and it stranded several people inside cars trying to get to work.

CNN was covering it live. The whole county decided the schools should close earlier. T's daycare closed earlier as well. It was mayhem, everyone had to get off work early to get their kids. A lot of people are without running water near the flooded area, but thankfully nobody got hurt.

Bring Sean Home

I'm not sure if you've seen this case on the news. It was covered by the Today Show and a few other media outlets.

This story is breaking my heart.

This man, David Goldman, drove his then wife Bruna, his 4 year old Sean and then in-laws to Newark Airport in 2004. Once Bruna arrived in Brazil, she called him to tell him she was no longer going back with their kid and if he wanted to see his again, he'd have to go to Brazil and sign a bunch of paperwork.

Fast forward 4 years and multiple court hearings, this man is still not allowed to have any contact with his son. Bruna has re-married (she divorced him without his knowledge, WTF?) an attorney from a powerful and wealthy family (ironically, specialized in family law and international child kidnapping cases). On a dark twist, Bruna recently died a few hours after giving birth to a baby girl.

Now, you'd think the Dad would get his son back. Noooooo! The family of the new husband is very influential, and they're pulling all strings possible. They filed a court order so the Brazilian newspapers could not publish anything on it, plus filed a lawsuit for the new husband to replace the dad's name in the birth certificate!!!!

David is in Brazil with a court order for visitation, but the stepfather vanished with the kid just the day before the visitation was supposed to take place.

The Brazilian court system is a joke and this whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.

So long, Butch Cassidy!

You will be missed. RIP!

Paul Newman
January 26, 1925 - September 27, 2008